Sunday, July 11, 2010

trying to keep my chin up here, but....

Last night I didn't sleep at all, between the upped steroids and the "squeezer" thingys on my legs repeatedly squeezing. Now don't get me wrong, I liked the way it felt for the first 45 minutes, but enough is enough especially after 4 hours, then 6 then 8...

So then the oncologist for the West clinic came by and announced that she wanted to do an MRI to watch for any other brain bleeds...yada yada yada.... But when I said, ya know I'm thinking my head is good, headaches are gone, but he main source of pain now is the area where my ribs come together and down from there towards my back. Hmmm she said, so when did this pain come up she asks, Well I say that it;s pretty much been with me since I've been in Memphis, she was totally shocked, she had no idea that I had cancer anywhere else than my brain. I told her that Dr. Tian, had the MRI/CTSCAN that was taken at the West clininc. I told her about the multiple spots and lymph nodes that popped up on the MRI, so then she decided to look at Dr. Tians notes on that MRI. That seems to clear up some stuff for her, She does say that she still wants to get the MRI of the brain, and even though the pain is localized to the chest/abdomen, she's not going to order an MRI of that area, because it hasn't been enough time for the one round of chemo to have done much, so instead she's upping the pain meds to a more tolerable level. Now that we have everyone on the same page (((insert a small bit of sarcasm here))))

I did ask her how the DTIC chemo worked, how many times I have to have it, She said that it is one of the most hardcore chemo for melanoma, and ideally, they'll do a couple of rounds, then check after two or three weeks for progress, if it shows progress then they would continue, until the cancer is in remission, or stops changing, If it doesn't continue working then we're off to clinical trial options, and frankly I hope we do those anyway, I mean really it's just one more thing right!

The brightest highlight of the day was Butch, Jeri, and Hopper coming to bring me dinner and my new colored pencil set. Hopper was having a blast dancing around and looking out the window onto Union Ave 6 stories up! He's gonna be fearless I think. Maybe tomorrow I'll try some drawings of Hopper, I still can't believe I don't have one drawing of him that I have done myself.

After they left I decided to take a shower, I thought it might actually perk me up a bit, but it actually did the opposite. I knocked me out. I'm beyond ready to go to bed, but now the nurse says I have to wait until 9pm to get my sleeping pill. She said, when they give me a sleeping pill, they have to actually let me sleep....hmmm.we'll see about that. I told her I want everything I can get...the big pain guns, sleeping pill, what ever she can slip me, I'll take it.

So it's 8:40 pm here, I've written about all I can, so I'm gonna try to patiently wait my last 20 minutes...can she do it??? I promise I'll try.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be in better spirits, I'm not apologizing for being tired and grumpy, just trying to get back on an even keel here. Cause I really don't like "crabby' people, especially when I'm the crabby people!

Thanks again for all the sweet well wishes and prayer, and mantras and love, you guys are really helping me and my lovely boys get through this crazy stuff!

Bon Courage!


  1. you can ask the nurse to take the SCD's (crazy leg squeezy things) off. you shouldn't need them continuously. in fact, they are usually ordered 2 hours on, 2 hours off, etc. Bon Courage, Sweety!

  2. I just took those legs things off my grandma. She had dementia and it was driving her over the edge. Just remove them.
    Uh. The thing about the cancer doc not knowing about your other cancer? Grrrr.

    Hope you are pleasantly doped now and are allowed to sleep.

  3. Did pretty good, got to sleep until 1:30 until nature called, but I'm going straight back to bed, the squeezed things haven't been so bad tonight. Y'all don't forget to sleep too!

  4. Sending you love and positive vibes all the way from France Danielle. Any requests from France or Italy? Let me know.

  5. I have had to use my "teacher voice" to "assign" a little chart reading for a doctor but this takes the cake! Good thing you're not a pushover!! Nobody advocates for you like YOU! BTW, what's the deal with the leg things?